Honorable Mentions, because we’re whores: Roguelikes, as a genre, deserve mention. Games where you can be wiped out by bad luck alone or the severe early ignorance you’ll have keep you on your toes, even if they tend to be turn based. Nobody has ever had a relaxed game of Nethack or Elona, especially when it turns out that ring you put on was a cursed ring of polymorph, and you are now a fish surrounded by dragons, dwarves, and/or jaguars.

Shadow of the Colossus almost made the list, but there are plenty of open relaxed areas when you’re not in the middle of a fight. Riding around the world hunting lizards and fruit is beautiful, but then a giant angry thing shows up which is both boss battle and puzzle. Climbing the beard of a giant or riding a flying stone bird is nothing less than gripping, and frankly not a single battle in the game disappoints, but that’s what happens when everything is a stunningly well crafted boss battle.

And now, the real top ten! (more…)

Political Machine 2008

Damn it, can’t it be so easy in reality? Maybe it is, maybe the real secret is that no politician has broken it down into spreadsheet form and then put a spiffy UI on their campaign.

Because if they do that, they should win pretty easily, and have a pretty nice time in the process if it works as well as Stardock’s Political Machine 2008.

TPM 2008 isn’t a terribly complicated game, though depth is certainly present, and at a budget price without the budget production values. At its core, it’s a turn based strategy game, but instead of armies and combat units you have spin doctors, advertisements, and consultants. Instead of favorable terrain, there are areas which tend to be liberal or conservative, and easier to add to your Electoral College totals come election time. Three resources must be managed, being money, political capital, and clout. Capital and clout are how candidates win endorsements from special interests, or to hire agents such as spin doctors, smear merchants, and the various political tagalongs. Money, well, it’s money. Buys ads, keeps them running, builds outreach centers (each of which generates one of the three resources), and even move around the country until your stamina runs out for the turn.

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Every year, Atari gives us a new Dragonball Z game, and every year consistently brings improvement in presentation and combat. Sadly there’s always a new problem added to the mix as well, but normally the benefits have outweighed the problems.

Dragonball Z: Burst Limit may be the first exception, with some serious improvements in terms of presentation and a tightened up fighting system, but a stunning lack of options and a real drop in combat depth.

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The Incredible Hulk: Ultimate Destruction is my favorite superhero game ever. It’s one of my favorite games ever, and I had some extremely high expectations going into this new Incredible Hulk.

They were mostly unmet, yet I can’t seem to stop playing, nor can I stop comparing it to the first.

The Incredible Hulk is a movie tie-in, though a fairly loose one. There’s movie plot elements, and the rest is going about Manhattan, smashing things up. And that it does well, there’s a very clear bias toward collateral damage in everything. Punching soldiers out of the way, for example, quite often results in them careening into nearby cars, tables, benches, or stands. Glass, planks, and hot dogs fly everywhere; there’s a real sense of how destructive it is to even exist as the Hulk. Coupled with the fact merely walking(much less running, jumping, or punching) can destroy scenery, it’s easy to understand why the army isn’t so keen on you being around, especially when cars start chain explosions.

Yet with all this destruction, it’s clear something is very much missing, which makes me sad. Actually, lots of things are missing, and the new additions don’t make up for it, but the game is far from ruined.

The game’s pace is dramatically slower than the last one, and even the movie. Honestly, I was worried about the movie based off the game, I expected slow, boring combat (thank god the movie didn’t end up that way). Sega excels at plodding fights these days. Yakuza, Viking, and Hulk all share the same sense of “meh, whatever, do it tomorrow” pace that leads to serious disappointment and a lack of interest. Hulk is cumbersome, slow. Blocking is far more important than one would think in a Hulk game, even, and some enemies easily stay away from Hulk’s slow attacks, which becomes amazingly irritating. The most fun, dynamic attacks from before are gone. Most of the air attacks are out, there aren’t any more running grabs, or tank throws. Hulk can’t run up buildings now. While the new climbing method is a very primal, ape-like way of hurling himself up the side of a building, the lack of running is a real issue in missions where one carries a big object the whole way. And by the time Hulk’s jumping ability is really enough to get you over the rooftops, the game is over.

The frenetic pacing of the first game’s combat is so sadly missing. You stay firmly on the ground for the most part, picking enemies up on occasion and chucking them, but mostly punching and using a reasonable weapon selection to batter them. All the while you build up rage (the special power meter, basically), which is used for instant regeneration, or special attacks (thunderclaps and ground slams). The thunderclap is shockingly underpowered against most enemies, and the ground slam is extremely strong but has a limited attack range, which powerful enemies easily move from, particularly bosses. And they tend to be tough to damage anyway.

A significant portion of the game’s enemies require charged attacks, even rage attacks, to damage. Though often you do less damage, and more stun, forcing you to expend rage which takes a while to build, and then hope you get your attacks off if your stun even lands. Frustration is go, and my real life rage meter rises sharply with every fight. There’s an idea of risk vs. reward which really doesn’t seem to do much, and the rage powers are often saved for “there’s lots of slow things around me”, “oh, it’s a boss I have to hit with a rage attack” or “this building sure takes a lot of damage to wreck.” Rather than becoming a part of the combat, they just become something you remember to do when you have to. It’s a shame, because with the last game, big special attacks were commonly used and highly effective and served essentially as a bonus power for skill, unlike rage powers which essentially build constantly in a fight.

There’s also a sense of constantly being under fire, which really results in some serious player fatigue. Previously one could just take out a strike team, and get a respite. Now enemy levels just get stronger and stronger, never disappearing unless one jumps in the subway, which is an instant nullification of the Hulk’s threat level.

A lot of attacks come too little, too late, like using maces effectively, or picking up enemy vehicles. For some arbitrary reason only damaged enemy vehicles can be lifted anyway, and only after earning the special ability, despite much larger vehicles being lifted at any time. Some of the most insanely fun things from the first game are sorely missing, as is the rapid pace.

There are quite a few bugs, and a big “seen it” factor. Most commonly, enemies will be grabbed by Hulk, and the model freezes in mid-air, despite Hulk behaves (and attacks) as if he’s holding onto them. Sometimes they’ll unstick and reappear in his hands, or reappear in mid-air when Hulk throws them.

At first, taking out a building is spectacular, watching it collapse and walking through the rubble, but it’s quickly apparent every building collapses the same way and the joy tends to disappear.

Missions, both story and side, get repetitive. Story features some variety, thanks to being tied to movies occasionally, but side missions end up almost invariably as “kill this many soldiers” or “Run this course.” The absolute variety of pure fun from UD is gone. No floating, no golf, just checkpoint chases.

Bosses too get quite repetitive too, which is a shame because some are quite creative, particularly a two headed robot and a fight against the U-Foes. But fights often come down to selecting a super move (you don’t just hit x+y or y+b anymore, you have to select the power THEN use the attack), waiting for enemies to be in a reasonable position, and using it to stun then. Then it’s a rapid attack to do the most damage you can, and repeat once they’re attacking again.

No enemies ever seem big enough sadly, despite the fact cars and tanks are bigger. Nothing ever seems THAT big or terribly threatening. In fact, the largest size enemy in the game is actually among the easiest to dispatch. It’s probably just an unfair comparison due to Ultimate Destruction, but it’s a major thing to people coming from the last one.

And yet, I have to admit with all this I’ve finished the game, happily. I kept playing the game and I’m still hunting down achievements to get every unlock for some damn reason, despite the jump challenges and comic markers being so…misplaced overall, not to mention so few.

There’s a lot of fun to be had if you can get past the bad pacing, and the bugs, and the sameyness. It’s not a particularly good game, but damn it, it’s fun. It’s The Incredible Hulk’s Bogus Journey, and that’s okay, it seems, and at least it’s a great rental, despite a slow, unfun first hour or so.

The Incredible Hulk gets 2.5 out of 5 stars-It’s pretty alright, but it could have been so much more, and should have been. If you dig for it, there’s a lot of fun to be had anyway.

It is, in a word, pulpy.

In two words, thick pulp.

In yet more words, this is hyperfruit, a juiceless, rindless orange, composed entirely of flavorful flesh, magically held together by forces unknown, the essence of pulp.

It’s a good thing.

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If you haven’t played Beyond Good and Evil, download it RIGHT NOW off of Xbox Live Arcade, it’s in the originals. Or get it for 20 dollars some other way, it’s on every last gen platform, plus PC via Steam for 10 dollars. 10 dollars! Just make sure you have a proper control pad, it’s how the game works best.

For those who have played it, here are three shots from Ubidays, lifted from Gamersyde

Here’s the HD trailer.

Fucking WARLORDS. Warlords will be available for 400 points on May 28th, 1 am PST. Here’s hoping the devs figured out a good way to make it work without a paddle controller(say, using the analog stick to simply point at the place you need a shield).

Review to come ASAP, though it will likely be “THIS IS STILL AWESOME” or “THEY FUCKED IT UP.”

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Universal Pictures to develop movie based on hit video game from 2K Games

Gore Verbinski, Director of Pirates of the Caribbean, to Direct/Produce

New York, NY – May 9, 2008 – 2K Games announced today that it has reached an agreement for BioShock®, the universally acclaimed smash-hit video game, to be developed as a feature film by Universal Pictures. 2K Games, whose 2K Boston and 2K Australia studios developed BioShock, is a video game publishing label of Take-Two Interactive Software, Inc. (NASDAQ: TTWO).

The prospect of bringing this blockbuster game to life has attracted not only a major studio, but top Hollywood talent. Gore Verbinski, director of the Pirates of the Caribbean trilogy, is slated to direct and produce the BioShock movie. John Logan, Academy Award-nominated writer of Gladiator, The Aviator and Sweeney Todd, is in talks to do the screenplay.

The expected release date and terms of the agreement were not disclosed.

An original property developed by 2K Games, BioShock is one of the most successful new interactive entertainment franchises to launch in recent years. A critical and consumer hit, BioShock has sold more than 2 million units worldwide since its release in August 2007. A sequel to the game, BioShock 2, is planned for a release in 2009.

“We are excited that 2K Games’ vision for BioShock will be carried forward in a new medium,” said Strauss Zelnick, Chairman of Take-Two. “BioShock has been hailed as one of the most highly cinematic and richly plotted titles in interactive entertainment, making it extremely well-suited to film. In partnering with Universal and Gore Verbinski, we have assembled a team that respects the uniqueness of BioShock and will translate it into a powerful movie experience.”

Mr. Zelnick added, “Our ability to attract a major studio and unparalleled creative team speaks volumes about the strength of our BioShock franchise. It also demonstrates how Take-Two is delivering value based on our strategy of creating and owning our industry’s most powerful intellectual property.”

Christoph Hartmann, President of 2K Games, noted, “BioShock fans appreciate the depth and complexity of the game, and our partnership with Gore Verbinski will introduce the world of Rapture to an even wider audience. In addition to his impressive body of work, Gore is an avid video gamer and true fan of BioShock. That was extremely important to us in deciding to move forward with this project.”

• Actual MS sales data from last week shows Xbox 360 console sales at retail went up 54% week-over-week as a result of GTA’s success
• According to retailers more than 60% of all GTA games sold in the first week were the Xbox 360 version
• Retailers are telling us that the game is attaching strongly to new console sales, with roughly 40% of new consoles selling with a copy of Grand Theft Auto IV
• In the first week, more than 2.3 million people played Grand Theft Auto IV on Xbox LIVE
• GTA IV is now the number one played game on Xbox LIVE
• Over the weekend, we saw the Xbox LIVE service reach 1 million concurrent users
• Gamers have unlocked more than 12 million achievements worth over 100 million gamerscore points in GTA
• Grand Theft Auto IV set a new record for time played, with the average gamer spending more than four hours playing the game on LIVE in the first week alone