Game Curmudgeons

The Incredible Hulk: Ultimate Destruction is my favorite superhero game ever. It’s one of my favorite games ever, and I had some extremely high expectations going into this new Incredible Hulk.

They were mostly unmet, yet I can’t seem to stop playing, nor can I stop comparing it to the first.

The Incredible Hulk is a movie tie-in, though a fairly loose one. There’s movie plot elements, and the rest is going about Manhattan, smashing things up. And that it does well, there’s a very clear bias toward collateral damage in everything. Punching soldiers out of the way, for example, quite often results in them careening into nearby cars, tables, benches, or stands. Glass, planks, and hot dogs fly everywhere; there’s a real sense of how destructive it is to even exist as the Hulk. Coupled with the fact merely walking(much less running, jumping, or punching) can destroy scenery, it’s easy to understand why the army isn’t so keen on you being around, especially when cars start chain explosions.

Yet with all this destruction, it’s clear something is very much missing, which makes me sad. Actually, lots of things are missing, and the new additions don’t make up for it, but the game is far from ruined.

The game’s pace is dramatically slower than the last one, and even the movie. Honestly, I was worried about the movie based off the game, I expected slow, boring combat (thank god the movie didn’t end up that way). Sega excels at plodding fights these days. Yakuza, Viking, and Hulk all share the same sense of “meh, whatever, do it tomorrow” pace that leads to serious disappointment and a lack of interest. Hulk is cumbersome, slow. Blocking is far more important than one would think in a Hulk game, even, and some enemies easily stay away from Hulk’s slow attacks, which becomes amazingly irritating. The most fun, dynamic attacks from before are gone. Most of the air attacks are out, there aren’t any more running grabs, or tank throws. Hulk can’t run up buildings now. While the new climbing method is a very primal, ape-like way of hurling himself up the side of a building, the lack of running is a real issue in missions where one carries a big object the whole way. And by the time Hulk’s jumping ability is really enough to get you over the rooftops, the game is over.

The frenetic pacing of the first game’s combat is so sadly missing. You stay firmly on the ground for the most part, picking enemies up on occasion and chucking them, but mostly punching and using a reasonable weapon selection to batter them. All the while you build up rage (the special power meter, basically), which is used for instant regeneration, or special attacks (thunderclaps and ground slams). The thunderclap is shockingly underpowered against most enemies, and the ground slam is extremely strong but has a limited attack range, which powerful enemies easily move from, particularly bosses. And they tend to be tough to damage anyway.

A significant portion of the game’s enemies require charged attacks, even rage attacks, to damage. Though often you do less damage, and more stun, forcing you to expend rage which takes a while to build, and then hope you get your attacks off if your stun even lands. Frustration is go, and my real life rage meter rises sharply with every fight. There’s an idea of risk vs. reward which really doesn’t seem to do much, and the rage powers are often saved for “there’s lots of slow things around me”, “oh, it’s a boss I have to hit with a rage attack” or “this building sure takes a lot of damage to wreck.” Rather than becoming a part of the combat, they just become something you remember to do when you have to. It’s a shame, because with the last game, big special attacks were commonly used and highly effective and served essentially as a bonus power for skill, unlike rage powers which essentially build constantly in a fight.

There’s also a sense of constantly being under fire, which really results in some serious player fatigue. Previously one could just take out a strike team, and get a respite. Now enemy levels just get stronger and stronger, never disappearing unless one jumps in the subway, which is an instant nullification of the Hulk’s threat level.

A lot of attacks come too little, too late, like using maces effectively, or picking up enemy vehicles. For some arbitrary reason only damaged enemy vehicles can be lifted anyway, and only after earning the special ability, despite much larger vehicles being lifted at any time. Some of the most insanely fun things from the first game are sorely missing, as is the rapid pace.

There are quite a few bugs, and a big “seen it” factor. Most commonly, enemies will be grabbed by Hulk, and the model freezes in mid-air, despite Hulk behaves (and attacks) as if he’s holding onto them. Sometimes they’ll unstick and reappear in his hands, or reappear in mid-air when Hulk throws them.

At first, taking out a building is spectacular, watching it collapse and walking through the rubble, but it’s quickly apparent every building collapses the same way and the joy tends to disappear.

Missions, both story and side, get repetitive. Story features some variety, thanks to being tied to movies occasionally, but side missions end up almost invariably as “kill this many soldiers” or “Run this course.” The absolute variety of pure fun from UD is gone. No floating, no golf, just checkpoint chases.

Bosses too get quite repetitive too, which is a shame because some are quite creative, particularly a two headed robot and a fight against the U-Foes. But fights often come down to selecting a super move (you don’t just hit x+y or y+b anymore, you have to select the power THEN use the attack), waiting for enemies to be in a reasonable position, and using it to stun then. Then it’s a rapid attack to do the most damage you can, and repeat once they’re attacking again.

No enemies ever seem big enough sadly, despite the fact cars and tanks are bigger. Nothing ever seems THAT big or terribly threatening. In fact, the largest size enemy in the game is actually among the easiest to dispatch. It’s probably just an unfair comparison due to Ultimate Destruction, but it’s a major thing to people coming from the last one.

And yet, I have to admit with all this I’ve finished the game, happily. I kept playing the game and I’m still hunting down achievements to get every unlock for some damn reason, despite the jump challenges and comic markers being so…misplaced overall, not to mention so few.

There’s a lot of fun to be had if you can get past the bad pacing, and the bugs, and the sameyness. It’s not a particularly good game, but damn it, it’s fun. It’s The Incredible Hulk’s Bogus Journey, and that’s okay, it seems, and at least it’s a great rental, despite a slow, unfun first hour or so.

The Incredible Hulk gets 2.5 out of 5 stars-It’s pretty alright, but it could have been so much more, and should have been. If you dig for it, there’s a lot of fun to be had anyway.

Damn it, can’t it be so easy in reality? Maybe it is, maybe the real secret is that no politician has broken it down into spreadsheet form and then put a spiffy UI on their campaign.

Because if they do that, they should win pretty easily, and have a pretty nice time in the process if it works as well as Stardock’s Political Machine 2008.

TPM 2008 isn’t a terribly complicated game, though depth is certainly present, and at a budget price without the budget production values. At its core, it’s a turn based strategy game, but instead of armies and combat units you have spin doctors, advertisements, and consultants. Instead of favorable terrain, there are areas which tend to be liberal or conservative, and easier to add to your Electoral College totals come election time. Three resources must be managed, being money, political capital, and clout. Capital and clout are how candidates win endorsements from special interests, or to hire agents such as spin doctors, smear merchants, and the various political tagalongs. Money, well, it’s money. Buys ads, keeps them running, builds outreach centers (each of which generates one of the three resources), and even move around the country until your stamina runs out for the turn.

Breaking up the potential monotony (which does show up sometimes) are random events. Mystery characters can show up on the map, which may hinder or hurt you. Movie directors who cheapen advertising, celebrities to spread the word, or just enthusiastic fans. There are also sporadic TV appearances you can go on, including parodies of Larry King Live, the Colbert Report, and The O’Reilly Factor. The amount of responses you have differs by the intelligence stat of the candidate you’re using.

Speaking of, every available character has stats. Intelligence, charisma, all the things one would expect when referring to candidates, and they all have positions placed before going on the trail. Some are a little poorly defined, with the support or opposition meaning left unclear, but not too often. Of course, stats and positions are available for characters you create yourself (which are highly customizable and quite fun to make), though the points at the start feel very limited for positions. Fortunately once in the game, positions are altered by speeches and advertisements.

There is a definite feeling of repetition after a few games, though, even with four scenarios. Most people will play a few quick games, but the odds of finishing the longer mode aren’t so good for most. Die-hard political junkies will probably manage it, but as politically involves as I am I never finished it myself.

The stats seem a bit party biased (also of note, no third parties!). The Republicans have a higher intelligence stat set, and Democrats a higher charisma and comeliness stat set. Not to get too political, but I have trouble believing George Bush (either one really) is on the same mental level as Al Gore. Intelligence seems more based on how effective a speaker one is, including rhetoric and just convincing people of a position, regardless of legitimacy. Small nitpick, really, since the rest of the game is pretty fun. There’s also an odd choice of including Ron Paul but not Dennis Kucinich, who is effectively the Democratic version. Plus it could have lead to the “Extremely hot British redhead wife” perk in-game.

TPM 2008 doesn’t take things too seriously, which is nice. Tooltips for everything, and when bobble heads are the avatars, you can’t expect much seriousness anyway. A nice pop-up tooltip comes with one of the create-a-candidate accessories, a videotape. Yes, VHS is in play, and tells the kids to ask their parents about it. Good stuff.

The Political Machine 2008 gets a 3.5 out of 5 rating. There aren’t any major bugs, but there’s some ambiguity about what things do, particularly attack ads and speeches, and the game gets fairly repetitive quickly. Yes, you’ll spend a lot of time in Florida, Ohio, California, New York, and Texas, especially as a liberal candidate. More random events would go a long way for the game, rather than the monotonous nature of move, speech/fundraise, advertise, rest, repeat. Still, at the budget price it can be fun, and doesn’t feel like a budget title at all.

Every year, Atari gives us a new Dragonball Z game, and every year consistently brings improvement in presentation and combat. Sadly there’s always a new problem added to the mix as well, but normally the benefits have outweighed the problems.

Dragonball Z: Burst Limit may be the first exception, with some serious improvements in terms of presentation and a tightened up fighting system, but a stunning lack of options and a real drop in combat depth.

The biggest, most obvious upgrade is that the game is absolutely stunning in terms of animation and color. The animation is better than the most carefully animated DBZ movie, and it shows. A few times clothing clips improperly and there’s some repetition to the power attacks; the impact animation which becomes far too elastic looking. That aside, it’s dynamic, it’s crisp, clean, bright, and altogether excellent, even if lacking in variety.

The voice clips as well are excellent, and provide flavor to the battles. Characters will occasionally yell each others’ names during a fight, and will talk to their support characters during drama scenes and vice versa. Rather than a generic “Have a senzu bean!”, you’ll get “Lord Frieza, take this!” from Ginyu, or “Dad, let me handle this!” from Goku to Raditz. It’s an extra layer of life that is easily appreciated. Of course, the mouth movement is almost never synchronized, but fans of the series have come to expect that sort of thing.

Sadly, the drama scenes, one of the new features, become very repetitive. When triggered by certain conditions, a cutscene plays out. At the end of it, there’s a status boost for someone, or someone is knocked away, an attack defended, quite a few things are possible. The system is great and throws some surprises into fights, and each character has plenty of them. So, while each sound bite is unique between characters and is well done, there are only so many times you can see the same animation repeated for a character. On top of that, there’s rarely actual interaction with the fight, just a cutscene that often ends in a black screen with a flash, implying someone being punched in the face. Or sometimes a generic ki attack being deflected. Sometimes if the scene is the two combatants interacting something happens, but that’s the exception.

The other issue is that the scene, well, it will just play out the same. There’s a point where you’re really sick of hearing “Is…is this really my limit? No, it can’t be! I AM A SUPER SAIYAN!” It’s unskippable in a fight, and while the idea is great, and it provides a solid mechanic, it becomes rapidly annoying. Especially in two player games, where it provides some “DUDE COOL” at first, but shortly players may skip the drama scene selection altogether. It’s a shame because the mechanic is great, but the implementation is rough.

Combat in DBZ: Burst Limit is similar to Tenkaichi, though the aerial battles have been toned down or nearly removed, and control is vastly simplified. No more special attack orbs plus a big bar, and various up/down combos. It’s forward+ki, back+ki, or up+ki for a super attack. When totally charged, players can use an aura spark which provides boosted defense and offense, rapid super attacks, and an enhanced chase attack. Defense is holding the block button down, or tapping it right before an attack and dodging. Tapping with a direction leads to a teleport and a counterattack as well, which can often result in ridiculous chains in two player matches. As a single-player mechanic, it’s not so great, but it functions for the story mode. With two players, the game absolutely shines and the combat is tight.

That said, there’s still a lack of variety to it, with many characters feeling same-y. Essentially fighting just on the horizontal plane with 3d movement to avoid attacks has taken away from some Dragonball feel. Special attacks still all dial in the same, button mashing is still present during struggles, and there’s very little risk vs. reward going on. A full power smash leaves a player vulnerable, but otherwise there are unblockable defensive postures, no manual ki charging (there’s a constant recharge, boosted slightly by dealing damage, stunted by taking damage), and no real battles for position. It’s a little dangerous to use an ultimate attack since it leaves one unable to teleport, but that’s minor overall.

But like I said before, the game absolutely shines in two player mode. The shallow combat is easily picked up, there’s a lot of excitement, and there’s a solid length with a great ebb and flow often enough, especially since players will tend to max out the health, attack, and defense stats. Add the drama scenes, and there’s a really fun game to be played with friends, even with some included annoyances. Hell, it’s even fun to watch, something most fighters can’t claim. The raw energy of Dragonball is obvious, and it’s easy to play two or three hours with four friends, passing the controller off upon loss. Spectators will cheers and yell, undoubtedly, for tense battles and utter decimations. But, that’s the result of the fast pace and flashy moves that show up in the battle. It doesn’t take a lot of skill to pull off, but it’s still a lot of fun to watch.

This is, of course, a review, so I have to issue a few complaints. There’s a pattern emerging. 3 iterations of a series, and a reboot. Budokai did such when I moved into Tenkaichi, dropping most characters and most story progress. Burst Limit has done the same, ending up at a very bare bones amount of characters and ending at the end of the Cell Saga. The presentation is, again, spectacular with cutscene intros and all, though the story stages are few really, as are characters. Unlocking drama scenes requires them being played out in story mode, which really limits what’s available for two player games. There’s also the issue of not being able to randomize the CPU character’s settings in versus mode. Players are forced to pick the ultimate special the computer will use, and the drama scenes. Some probably won’t care, preferring to re-create scenes or form what-if scenarios, but I like a challenge and a surprise. Not knowing what’s coming, having to be ready for anything, is part of the fun against the CPU. Instead, I know there will be a senzu bean and two special attack blocks, and that there will be a Hellzone Grenade. It really limits the single-player replay factor.

More characters are really needed, especially ones that start out at higher power levels. Everyone starts at the bottom, and moves up, and can be knocked back down. It doesn’t really make sense watching Frieza go through four transformations (and it’s annoying to do), then get knocked back down to his original form. And I don’t see why Goku always has to go through kaioken before hitting super saiyan to be honest. It doesn’t mesh with the show, but it doesn’t kill the gameplay, at least. Just annoys.

Dragonball Z: Burst limit gets 3 and a half canes. It’s a three cane game in single-player with decent AI and solid basics, and a four cane game for multi-player. The likely iteration next year will undoubtedly include many more characters and an improved/lengthened story mode, and probably improved drama scenes. Hopefully more open combat as well. For now, it’s no Soul Calibur but it’s a fuckton of fun with friends, and at least worth a rental.

And that, in a nutshell, is Galactic Civilizations II:Twilight of the Arnor. You’ll get it, you’ll start playing at 6pm, you’ll realize it’s 5 am, you REALLY need to pee, and you’re pretty thirsty. And your drink went flat HOURS ago.

Galactic Civilizations is the classic 4x style. Build your technology, your military, your economy, and your influence via any number of methods. At the same time, other races are working to do the same thing, to expand any of those enough to become the dominant force in the galaxy.

Twilight of the Arnor is the second expansion for the game, which could have fairly been sold as GalCiv III(but so could Dark Avatar). A new campaign is featured of course, as with the prior two installments, but that isn’t the biggest draw of the new pack.

Make no mistake, the game looks great. The AI is improved yet again, and can definitely be considered the best 4X AI out there prior to these boosts. It all runs very smoothly thanks to some interesting graphical optimizations that produce some very good looking textures and better framerates. And of course, more cycles devoted to the AI trying to win for itself.

Part of what makes the game so good is that the AI isn’t trying to beat the player, it’s just trying to win. The other AI gets just as much priority as a threat, and each race has a unique personality and style, which is now demonstrated not only in choices and behaviors, but the very technological abilities of each race. Some races have fragile psyches, requiring meditation centers. Others are violent, with slave pits and gladiatorial arenas. Other, mechanical races, simply use really really big computers and have plenty of repair centers. Some races also get special weapons, movement abilities in space, materials for building, all sorts of things, and it results in, yet again, an entirely new experience. Each race is different to play with and against, and just in case that’s not good enough, players can create their own races, and their own ships.

The end result is there are about nine different games withing Twilight, with the same premise, and all are highly refined and a ton of fun. No race plays quite the same(if reasonably near the same), forcing you to adapt to each, and the game itself will force you to adapt to changing situations on the fly. The best way to explain is just to describe the most recent game I played.

The last time, I went in with full intent to get a simple tech victory(ha! No such thing as simple in GalCiv). My first step was building my defensive abilities and weaponry, so I can hold my planet when eventually the attacks come. Just to help with that, I grab a few nearby planets, and start settling in, fast.

A few turns later, something major has already gone down. Ascenscion crystals are the game’s solution to the old strategy problem of mopping up the mess for hours. Now, build a few bases, wait some turns, done. It’s a great solution when you’re an overwhelming military power, but the cleanup or invasions would be too costly. Of course, it brings on a lot of aggression once you get near the point of winning. In this case, an evil race went straight for the crystals, but nobody wanted to make the first strike because of the strong military.

A little bribery in the form of credits and technology goes a long way, and coerces another race with a decent military presence to attack the ones with the crystals. They charge the homeworld, I charge the crystals being captured. In that period the bribed race is wiped out, but my military is extremely strong. I swoop in and wipe out the remnants of the initial problem, take some tech, space stations, and planets.

Now I’m really cooking. I’ve got rapid research, but another race is after me, since they were pinned down by the race I finished. A solid year of battles(52 turns, essentially) ends bitterly with my victory, and seeing that, two races come after me. Two more rush to my aid, deciding they like the cut of my jib.

The galaxy is now at war, all out war, after I just wanted to sit in my corner and do some research. Planets defect to my side as I get new buildings and galactic achievements(unique skills or goods, essentially). Rips open up in space time, nobody can rush the Earth anymore due to it, they can only move at 5 parsecs per turn. I defend, eventually it all ends, and three races are left.

My heroism is, apparently, appreciated. My population has surged, my influence is nearly half the galaxy. Suddenly I notice I haven’t researched any diplomacy whatsoever. Using the amazing labs I’ve built for my tech victory, invention matrixes and discovery spheres, places built to unlock the very secrets of the universe, I study how to butter up aliens.

One level of research is all it takes. I have half the influence in the galaxy, slightly more. 10 turns later, the required amount, I have dominated the galaxy by culture alone. Every species in the galaxy wants an iPod. They can’t get enough of those crazy Earthican sounds, the movies, the food. The galaxy’s economy is dependant on me, and I have one.

That’s what Galactic Civilizations is all about. You have a plan. You do your best, it doesn’t work. Things happen, big things, world changing things, and you deal with them. You make friends and enemies, and in all this you damn well forget you’re playing a game, you’re just trying to do the best you can for the species you are.

GCII:Twilight is truly transcendent as a game. It sucks you in with a depth of AI and options, new events every time you play, things that just never will be the same from one game to the next, even if you always play as the Terrans. I’ve been playing since the original, and every time something new comes out, I know, I’m in trouble. I’m late for my day job RIGHT NOW because of this game.

I cannot recommend it enough, nor can I possibly warn you enough about how much of your life will be ruined.

Galactic Civilizations II:Twilight of the Arnor gets 5 of 5 canes, an editor’s choice award which will be given when I can get up from my chair and find the thing. Just one more turn, okay?

What are you waiting for?

Alright, fine. I’ll tell you why.

Ikaruga is everything a good vertical shooter should be. The past is fast, the action frantic, and perhaps most of all, you have to think. Ikaruga is a thinking gamer’s shooter, and twitch skills alone will mean nothing. Knowing when to switch polarity, which enemies to fight at a time, and how to get out of some very challenging polarity based puzzles while being fired at from all directions, that’s the kind of thing that really works you over, with a wonderful minimalist idea working in its favor.

The game’s premise isn’t that removed from the normal vert shooter. Blast things into tiny pieces, don’t get shot. Here’s the catch, though. There are two types of enemy fire, black and white (with some blue and red outlining). Your ship has two polarities, black and white. At any time, you’re set to one of those, and you absorb any shots that come your way of that polarity (If this all sounds familiar, this is the same basic idea that was used for the classic, but underplayed, Sillohuette Mirage for Playstation). Those shots are absorbed into a seeker weapon, which you can unleash 16 of for some nasty damage to whatever is in your way. And on top of that, you do massive damage to enemies of the opposite polarity as opposed to the same. Playing it safe is an option, but taking the risk will blast an enemy out of the sky in an instant, netting you more points and with that more extra lives, which ALWAYS matter. And to add more points, killing three enemies of the same polarity in a row adds to a combo meter. As long as you blast sets of three, the combo, and the major bonus it gives, grows, even if the sets aren’t all of the same polarity. Break a set though, and lose the combo.

It’s a very pretty affair, with great models and textures despite the fact the game’s palette is essentially 4 high contrast colors. The special effects are strong, and there’s never a question of what’s coming at you, and how you need to respond. It really is impressive what Treasure (the developer) did with so little, but it goes to show the power of a solid art style and some proper spectacle. It’s easy to get lost in the “Whoa!” of some enemies, and that, of course, means a fiery explosion that used to be your ship. For an extra treat, players who’ve got a TV or monitor they can rotate vertically will get the full experience here, without sidebars preserving the ratio. The game supports rotation to fit native on a vertical monitor, and well, you’re going to yell out “holy shit awesome!” when you try it.

Lots of sections of the game revolve around not dying more than killing things, with streams of energy of opposite polarities forming mazes in ways that players will need to ride through and switch through occasionally. Timing will very much be key, but the reward is great, and it’s easy to load up on homing attacks in such pieces. Minibosses and bosses revolve heavily on the idea of polarity. Some fire certain types and rotate them, some are weak to a specific polarity in specific spots, and some will just require good timing on the swap to not die. One particularly devious miniboss uses both polarities to attack, crossing energy solid beams over the player, ensuring that you WILL get hit. At the same time he’s strafing left and right, meaning you have to swap polarities and engage in a deadly ballet avoiding the beams which will destroy you, and switching as they invert while still maneuvering and dodging the smaller shots still flying.

The difficulty is high, but Ikaruga is not without mercy. As more time is logged into the game and more points, players earn more credits and lives to use to unlock levels. The goals are twofold in this game certainly. One is just the challenge of mastering the basic game, winning it, which is no easy feat. Beyond that, on default settings high scores and replays are uploaded, but the difficulty is quite high at this point. No extra credits, no extra lives beyond those afforded on default settings, everyone is equal except for skill and a bit of memorization of certain devious puzzles.

Like all shooters, Ikaruga can be victim of repetition, especially replaying earlier levels. But those early levels are very fun even after a lot of plays, and provide a basis for the skill needed to finish later levels. Players can also just play a favorite level that they’ve reached by selecting it, instead of always going from the beginning, which is a great feature. Want some motion and polarity puzzles? Hit level three. Non-stop action? Level five. The game is also, like most shooters, rather short, but shooter fans aren’t in a game for length, they’re in it to replay over and over, and to top their best score again and again.

Ikaruga provides that chance. It’s a lot of fun in single-player, and a ton of fun in multiplayer too, with players working in tandem to cover both polarities and protect each other as they unleash absolute devastation on their enemies.

Ikaruga is an easy 5 star game. The polish is top, it’s pure fun, and it’s one of the finest examples of its genre. And on top of that, it’s 10 fucking dollars! 800 points on Xbox Live Arcade gets you the game, which is certainly less than many, many people spent in quarters at the arcade, or the cost of finding a Dreamcast or Gamecube copy of a real collector’s item. Get the trial, fall in love instantly with it, and buy it. Unlike some other XBLA titles, Ikaruga only gets better as you go. Now let’s hope Microsoft decides to give us Treasure’s other opus, Radiant Silvergun.

Digital Extremes seems to try to prove every chance they get that, if it weren’t for Epic Games, they’d never have become a name anyone knows.

Let’s look at their flagship titles, shall we?

Unreal-A thoroughly average FPS with horrid SiN-like anyway, load times.

Unreal Tournament-A great series, heavily guided by Epic’s design and direction, and effectively made by Epic.

Pariah-An extremely shitty FPS with a few ideas taken from other recent games that didn’t work out in any way.

Warpath-Essentially a sequel to Pariah, which also stole some ideas from recent games, and sucked in a stunningly generic way.

Now, Dark Sector. It, like most other pure DE work, is a generic suckfest, showing they just can’t be let to roam too free from Epic.

Dark Sector is 100 blowing 100 guys at the same time in an orderly line, viewed from a distant camera that’s low resolution and grainy. Most guys are going to see it, and say “Oh man, this is awesome!” But then they notice everything is starting to look the same and there’s no real detail or depth. Nothing stands out as special, and it never seems to get anywhere. When it finally does, you only know because nothing is happening anymore, not that you bothered paying much attention by that point.

Dark Sector steals from every recent successful game, and while it does that fine at points, it does it lazily. The aftertouch has little real control. The cover system is awkwardly implemented and hard to use. The sprinting is hard to control and serves no real function beyond exposing yourself to fire. Okay, that they clearly got from Epic’s Gears of War. They also spent the entire first chapter of the game in black and white, which I’ll also snarkily say was taken from Gears of War! It’s too bad they didn’t take the great high-res textures and models to match.

Loose control plagues the game. It defaults to maximum sensitivity, which seems absolutely horrid at first, since a light press of the stick will swing you 180 instantly. Then you aim at an enemy, and the turn speed is somewhere around point oh five are-pee-em, at full tilt. I don’t expect the exact same aimed speed by any means, but jesus christ, these are polar opposites. The fact there’s no reticule at all, unless in aim mode, just adds to the frustration, since you’ll never be close to your target upon the depression of the left trigger. And somehow, you’ll still never get a good shot. The main character, Hayden, gets more accurate throughout the course of the game, but nobody will care about getting that far.

The game’s signature weapon, the glaive, is stunningly underpowered and generally not useful. It’s slow to use, not that strong unless timed perfectly, and while using it, you’re stuck with a pistol, which is relatively weak no matter how often it’s upgraded. Plenty of early sections in the game leave players against a horde of enemies with AI smart enough to have ideas like “run toward the player” and “punch the player.” Not much more, but oh, there’s plenty of that. At points they respawn from nowhere. Sometimes they emerge from six inch deep pools of water, sometimes they simply appear in front of you. The mechanic is incredibly weak and completely unfun. How a big spinning triple edged blade winds up shitty to use is beyond me, but hey, there it is. Even with the aftertouch, lifted poorly out of Heavenly Sword, it’s hard to use well, and awkward. Using the aftertouch is often worse because the game is so intent on you firing the pistol right after tossing the glaive.

It should be noted, at least, that the game’s shotguns are pretty damn nice, and all you’re going to use besides the glaive anyway. They’re the only thing capable of hitting what you aim at, gunwise, and thank god something can.

But the rest, well, it’s a mess. The game’s animation is choppy and unconvincing, and lots of death animations are repeated. When they’re not, the ragdolls are simply awful, springing around like every joint is held by rubber bands. The audio is sloppy at best, though at least the vocals are clear. The damage indicators are undersized and easily unnoticed until it’s too late, and the game’s sense of scale simply feels wrong. Enemies are small looking, generic, and blend in too well, especially for guys in hazmat suits early on.

Simply put, Dark Sector is as unpolished as this article. Feature creep is obvious, and it took away from any real testing or balancing. When the close-range melee attacks from a player simply swing on by the enemy more often than not when you’re close enough to kiss, it’s obvious there’s a problem. There’s just a distinct lack of enjoyment to the game, and some major bad decisions. In the end, you’ve already played this game, but in 10 distinct pieces that were much better on their own.

It never does anything overtly bad, excepting for the animation and some presentation decisions. And the controls. Okay, it does a few things badly, but most of the game is a thoroughly average theft of ideas that were done better in a more specialized focus. And the novelty of the glaive wears out rapidly in the frustration of cheap kills and a lack of any creativity. I’m not one to knock a game for not being terribly innovative if it’s incredibly well done(Unreal Tournament 2004, Half-life, Bioshock even was an incredibly well done FPS without being terribly revolutionary), but this just isn’t. There’s no polish, it’s bland, it’s uninspired, and it will have you frustrated before it even truly starts.

Dark Sector gets 2 out of 5 stars. It’s not all the way to “bad”, but it’s rarely a title that makes it to “average” and never “good” or “holy shit awesome.” It definitely doesn’t live up to the potential, or even the hype, which is a real shame. Digital Extremes needs to step it up next time, otherwise, they may not stay around much longer.

Nothing interrupts an experiment in drunken gaming like something awesome coming along.

Viking, for a moment, got better, when I unlocked a combo of sorts. Then the bad design started rearing its ugly head, and overall awful level design, bad enough to make you question your undying but undeserved love of Sega, and the skills of Creative Assembly.

Well Ikaruga, you came along and reminded me of why I still love my Dreamcast. Ikaruga is a ridiculously great shooter that requires thought and strategy beyond holding the fire button to do well, and at a certain point, to survive at all. The game’s key mechanic of polarity(absorb one type of enemy fire, get decimated by another) means paying attention to your surroundings, knowing when to flip, and being able to pick out fire patterns with two sets mixed in. One color to dodge, one to ignore, but getting complacent will result in that flipping around on you without being prepared.

A full review of Ikaruga will come within a few days after I dive in obsessively and gleefully, but for now, grab the demo off X-box live. Blow things up, and appreciate one of the finest pieces of a generation and of its type. Excercise brain and reflex in one wonderful game!

An MMORPG I like? This can’t be. But it is. It’s actually happened again, thanks to being so different from the rest of the games out there. But it has. Pirates of the Burning Seas takes some cues from quite a few MMOs, and makes something unique and interesting with them, even if it’s not without a few flaws. Rotating, updated flaws, by nature of the genre, but still, it’s pretty solid, and oddly comparable to Sid Meier’s Pirates! smashed together with Eve Online.

Pick a country, pick a class, pick a look, get out and make something of yourself. It’s certainly not a complicated idea, and there’s fun to be had in all professions, and something to match your style certainly. Players into serious PVP will become naval officers, defending contended ports of their own and taking from their enemies. People wanting to make a name for themselves and some big bucks will become privateers, hunting pirates and, given the right circumstances, the ships of other nations. Traders make the bucks without the battle, working the economy(player driven, and so far, pretty damn good), making the goods and ships that keep it all happening. And players who don’t have any particular goals but to sail the sea, find some cool things and enjoy a few dubloons will become pirates, the wild card and catalyst of the game’s economy and contention system.

This is the Caribbean afterall, and you never know what’s going to happen. Someone might come from behind a cove and wreck your shit entirely, you might have everything stolen, or the massive unrest caused by traders dumping dirt cheap goods and pirates raiding a port gets your governor overthrown after a massive sea battle. And that’s the essence of the game, you just never know what’s going to happen. Even the game’s quests, which often seem standard enough, can take some very interesting turns in the middle of an escort or when running a blockade, and thanks to the great ship to ship combat, they stay exciting.

Ship to ship combat is a matter of knowing your ship, and knowing your enemy’s ship. Running alongside someone and firing is an easy way to get a ship sunk or boarded by a superior ship, or superior gun on a weak ship. Each class has its own set of abilities, be they attacks which rend an enemy’s sails, decimate crews or rend armor, defensive measures to repair or prevent damage, or sail away damn fast, or make it easier to board and capture a ship. Knowing how to use those skills properly, along with what points on your ship are strongest, the enemy’s weak points, what type of shot is best for the situation, and how your ship sails best compared to theirs. There really is a lot to it, and while it’s certainly complex, it’s not complicated. Battles can last a long time, but they’re intense and exciting each time because player skill is the primary factor.

Ground combat, unfortunately, isn’t nearly as exciting an affair, and it almost ventures into typical MMO works, save for the lack of an auto-attack button. Attacks are done off a hotkey set(which is a bit slow and limited unfortunately), with attacks made to increase your initiative, decrease enemy balance, and just plain deal damage. They key to avatar combat is to unbalance the opponent(s), and keep your initiative up to deliver the big blows. It’s a really good idea for a system that just feels repetitive and unpolished, but when it works right, it’s great. Sadly, it doesn’t hit that “works right” piece as often as it should. Boarding ships becomes something you’d rather not do at points, despite the profits to be gained from it. Fixing the pace and streamlining the mechanics would do a world of good for it.

For those more interested in diplomatic, relatively peaceful affairs, the economy and trade system await. Taking a solid cue from past MMOs, there’s an auction house in major cities where anyone can list goods. Plenty of things are found just from hunting down foes on the open sea, but the real production starts at the ground level. Really. Opening mining facilities and logging facilities at major ports starts the economy off, among other things. Materials are precious, and the amount harvested at once is finite. Every structure, be it for making items or harvesting resources, has a limited number of labor hours every day that are accumulated and spent on the production. No one person is going to be able to produce everything needed for, well, everything, and advanced ships can take twelve individuals to craft. It’s certainly a complex system, and if you enjoy profit for the sake of profit, the sense of achievement, and say, Ayn Rand, it’s a hell of a system.

It’s certainly a pretty ride on the seas as well. Soothing ocean waves, winds, and the occasional seagull fill in for a few minutes, and once a journey becomes protracted, music kicks in, certainly appropriate(and very nice). The open sea is a nice place to be, danger aside, and a clever system. Rather than traveling slowly across the same maps that you walk on and battle on, the world is compressed for travel, but ships and land masses remain visible and labeled. It’s very much a feeling of sailing across a map, but it works well for the game, and when players engage in battle they enter a private instance(and the battle becomes visible to others on at sea). Docking is just as simple a matter. Click on a harbor, and as long as you’re in range, there you are, back on land.

It’s a shame land itself is so bland, droll, clunky. I never felt like I’ve really gone anywhere else. There’s not a clear separation in terms of feel for the different nations ports, and all ports feel around the same size, with major features re-arranged. Much like the ground combat, it’s repetitive, the framerate is a little weak, and it just doesn’t hold up to the very high standards of the ships and sea. Most of my time on land would have been served better with a menu interface instead of wasting time walking around uninteresting places, and the ground mapping team could have put more effort into some really creative, interesting places to assault on foot, instead of what feels like MMO standard. Move forward 5 feet, pull a mob, avoid aggro by walking it back, etc. The sea battles are so dynamic and fresh that the formulaic ground battles and environments stand out horribly. The quality drop within one game is almost as much as happened to Spider-man with two games.

On top of that, player avatars, while fairly customizable, feel almost pointless. Sure, you get more items and options as you progress, but nobody is spending much time on land, so the only time you really see other players is raiding their ships, and not much then, in all the chaos. It shows severely how there were no plans, originally, for players to ever get off the boat in Pirates of the Burning Seas, though it’s at least a salvagable system.

And honestly, it doesn’t matter too much because the ocean combat is so fun, sailing around is great, and the economy has a great system to play with. It’s good enough I’m actually paying for a second month, which I haven’t done in several years of MMO trial. I didn’t even play World of Warcraft beyond the first month. This time, I want more.

There’s a definite “it” factor going on for PotBS. It’s got a fair amount of bugs currently, as is typical for the genre at launch(and sadly, sometimes, several years after), but if you can look beyond them, there’s a damn good time to be had regardless of your style, be it sailing around wrecking shit, making money, or taking anything you decide you’d like.

Pirates of the Burning Sea gets 4 stars. It suffers from some repetition and bug pitfalls, as is expected of the genre, but when it works it absolutely excels.

Penny-Arcade Adventures:On the Rain-slick Precipice of Darkness:Episode 1, known to the common man as “That Penny-Arcade game”, is out for PC and Xbox Live.

It is, in a word, pulpy.

In two words, thick pulp.

In yet more words, this is hyperfruit, a juiceless, rindless orange, composed entirely of flavorful flesh, magically held together by forces unknown, the essence of pulp.

It’s a good thing.

Moar! »

I don’t think they’ve done anything wrong myself, but that’s because I’m having such a good time running them.

There’s going to be a longer review up tonight we expect, but we’re having some issues with a post system. But it needs said that if you like 4x games, or RTS, well, this is the game for you. It manages to walk the line perfectly in slowly passing time with very few qualms to be had(and those are already being addressed for the next major patch). It’s a lot of fun, it has good AI, a good challenge, and all that wonderful Stardock replayability and customization. Not to mention an amazingly clean and effective interface to control astounding numbers without any scrolling at all.

Go ahead and get it, it’s a 5/5. We’ll tell you why tonight, what sets it apart from Galactic Civilizations and other space based RTS, to make a fine blend.