Damn it, can’t it be so easy in reality? Maybe it is, maybe the real secret is that no politician has broken it down into spreadsheet form and then put a spiffy UI on their campaign.
Because if they do that, they should win pretty easily, and have a pretty nice time in the process if it works as well as Stardock’s Political Machine 2008.
TPM 2008 isn’t a terribly complicated game, though depth is certainly present, and at a budget price without the budget production values. At its core, it’s a turn based strategy game, but instead of armies and combat units you have spin doctors, advertisements, and consultants. Instead of favorable terrain, there are areas which tend to be liberal or conservative, and easier to add to your Electoral College totals come election time. Three resources must be managed, being money, political capital, and clout. Capital and clout are how candidates win endorsements from special interests, or to hire agents such as spin doctors, smear merchants, and the various political tagalongs. Money, well, it’s money. Buys ads, keeps them running, builds outreach centers (each of which generates one of the three resources), and even move around the country until your stamina runs out for the turn.
Every year, Atari gives us a new Dragonball Z game, and every year consistently brings improvement in presentation and combat. Sadly there’s always a new problem added to the mix as well, but normally the benefits have outweighed the problems.
Dragonball Z: Burst Limit may be the first exception, with some serious improvements in terms of presentation and a tightened up fighting system, but a stunning lack of options and a real drop in combat depth.
The Incredible Hulk: Ultimate Destruction is my favorite superhero game ever. It’s one of my favorite games ever, and I had some extremely high expectations going into this new Incredible Hulk.
They were mostly unmet, yet I can’t seem to stop playing, nor can I stop comparing it to the first.
The Incredible Hulk is a movie tie-in, though a fairly loose one. There’s movie plot elements, and the rest is going about Manhattan, smashing things up. And that it does well, there’s a very clear bias toward collateral damage in everything. Punching soldiers out of the way, for example, quite often results in them careening into nearby cars, tables, benches, or stands. Glass, planks, and hot dogs fly everywhere; there’s a real sense of how destructive it is to even exist as the Hulk. Coupled with the fact merely walking(much less running, jumping, or punching) can destroy scenery, it’s easy to understand why the army isn’t so keen on you being around, especially when cars start chain explosions.
Yet with all this destruction, it’s clear something is very much missing, which makes me sad. Actually, lots of things are missing, and the new additions don’t make up for it, but the game is far from ruined.
The game’s pace is dramatically slower than the last one, and even the movie. Honestly, I was worried about the movie based off the game, I expected slow, boring combat (thank god the movie didn’t end up that way). Sega excels at plodding fights these days. Yakuza, Viking, and Hulk all share the same sense of “meh, whatever, do it tomorrow” pace that leads to serious disappointment and a lack of interest. Hulk is cumbersome, slow. Blocking is far more important than one would think in a Hulk game, even, and some enemies easily stay away from Hulk’s slow attacks, which becomes amazingly irritating. The most fun, dynamic attacks from before are gone. Most of the air attacks are out, there aren’t any more running grabs, or tank throws. Hulk can’t run up buildings now. While the new climbing method is a very primal, ape-like way of hurling himself up the side of a building, the lack of running is a real issue in missions where one carries a big object the whole way. And by the time Hulk’s jumping ability is really enough to get you over the rooftops, the game is over.
The frenetic pacing of the first game’s combat is so sadly missing. You stay firmly on the ground for the most part, picking enemies up on occasion and chucking them, but mostly punching and using a reasonable weapon selection to batter them. All the while you build up rage (the special power meter, basically), which is used for instant regeneration, or special attacks (thunderclaps and ground slams). The thunderclap is shockingly underpowered against most enemies, and the ground slam is extremely strong but has a limited attack range, which powerful enemies easily move from, particularly bosses. And they tend to be tough to damage anyway.
A significant portion of the game’s enemies require charged attacks, even rage attacks, to damage. Though often you do less damage, and more stun, forcing you to expend rage which takes a while to build, and then hope you get your attacks off if your stun even lands. Frustration is go, and my real life rage meter rises sharply with every fight. There’s an idea of risk vs. reward which really doesn’t seem to do much, and the rage powers are often saved for “there’s lots of slow things around me”, “oh, it’s a boss I have to hit with a rage attack” or “this building sure takes a lot of damage to wreck.” Rather than becoming a part of the combat, they just become something you remember to do when you have to. It’s a shame, because with the last game, big special attacks were commonly used and highly effective and served essentially as a bonus power for skill, unlike rage powers which essentially build constantly in a fight.
There’s also a sense of constantly being under fire, which really results in some serious player fatigue. Previously one could just take out a strike team, and get a respite. Now enemy levels just get stronger and stronger, never disappearing unless one jumps in the subway, which is an instant nullification of the Hulk’s threat level.
A lot of attacks come too little, too late, like using maces effectively, or picking up enemy vehicles. For some arbitrary reason only damaged enemy vehicles can be lifted anyway, and only after earning the special ability, despite much larger vehicles being lifted at any time. Some of the most insanely fun things from the first game are sorely missing, as is the rapid pace.
There are quite a few bugs, and a big “seen it” factor. Most commonly, enemies will be grabbed by Hulk, and the model freezes in mid-air, despite Hulk behaves (and attacks) as if he’s holding onto them. Sometimes they’ll unstick and reappear in his hands, or reappear in mid-air when Hulk throws them.
At first, taking out a building is spectacular, watching it collapse and walking through the rubble, but it’s quickly apparent every building collapses the same way and the joy tends to disappear.
Missions, both story and side, get repetitive. Story features some variety, thanks to being tied to movies occasionally, but side missions end up almost invariably as “kill this many soldiers” or “Run this course.” The absolute variety of pure fun from UD is gone. No floating, no golf, just checkpoint chases.
Bosses too get quite repetitive too, which is a shame because some are quite creative, particularly a two headed robot and a fight against the U-Foes. But fights often come down to selecting a super move (you don’t just hit x+y or y+b anymore, you have to select the power THEN use the attack), waiting for enemies to be in a reasonable position, and using it to stun then. Then it’s a rapid attack to do the most damage you can, and repeat once they’re attacking again.
No enemies ever seem big enough sadly, despite the fact cars and tanks are bigger. Nothing ever seems THAT big or terribly threatening. In fact, the largest size enemy in the game is actually among the easiest to dispatch. It’s probably just an unfair comparison due to Ultimate Destruction, but it’s a major thing to people coming from the last one.
And yet, I have to admit with all this I’ve finished the game, happily. I kept playing the game and I’m still hunting down achievements to get every unlock for some damn reason, despite the jump challenges and comic markers being so…misplaced overall, not to mention so few.
There’s a lot of fun to be had if you can get past the bad pacing, and the bugs, and the sameyness. It’s not a particularly good game, but damn it, it’s fun. It’s The Incredible Hulk’s Bogus Journey, and that’s okay, it seems, and at least it’s a great rental, despite a slow, unfun first hour or so.
The Incredible Hulk gets 2.5 out of 5 stars-It’s pretty alright, but it could have been so much more, and should have been. If you dig for it, there’s a lot of fun to be had anyway.
Penny-Arcade Adventures:On the Rain-slick Precipice of Darkness:Episode 1, known to the common man as “That Penny-Arcade game”, is out for PC and Xbox Live.
It is, in a word, pulpy.
In two words, thick pulp.
In yet more words, this is hyperfruit, a juiceless, rindless orange, composed entirely of flavorful flesh, magically held together by forces unknown, the essence of pulp.
And that, in a nutshell, is Galactic Civilizations II:Twilight of the Arnor. You’ll get it, you’ll start playing at 6pm, you’ll realize it’s 5 am, you REALLY need to pee, and you’re pretty thirsty. And your drink went flat HOURS ago.
Ikaruga is everything a good vertical shooter should be. The past is fast, the action frantic, and perhaps most of all, you have to think. Ikaruga is a thinking gamer’s shooter, and twitch skills alone will mean nothing. Knowing when to switch polarity, which enemies to fight at a time, and how to get out of some very challenging polarity based puzzles while being fired at from all directions, that’s the kind of thing that really works you over, with a wonderful minimalist idea working in its favor.
Digital Extremes seems to try to prove every chance they get that, if it weren’t for Epic Games, they’d never have become a name anyone knows.
Let’s look at their flagship titles, shall we?
Unreal-A thoroughly average FPS with horrid SiN-like anyway, load times.
Unreal Tournament-A great series, heavily guided by Epic’s design and direction, and effectively made by Epic.
Pariah-An extremely shitty FPS with a few ideas taken from other recent games that didn’t work out in any way.
Warpath-Essentially a sequel to Pariah, which also stole some ideas from recent games, and sucked in a stunningly generic way.
Now, Dark Sector. It, like most other pure DE work, is a generic suckfest, showing they just can’t be let to roam too free from Epic.
Dark Sector is 100 blowing 100 guys at the same time in an orderly line, viewed from a distant camera that’s low resolution and grainy. Most guys are going to see it, and say “Oh man, this is awesome!” But then they notice everything is starting to look the same and there’s no real detail or depth. Nothing stands out as special, and it never seems to get anywhere. When it finally does, you only know because nothing is happening anymore, not that you bothered paying much attention by that point.
Dark Sector steals from every recent successful game, and while it does that fine at points, it does it lazily. The aftertouch has little real control. The cover system is awkwardly implemented and hard to use. The sprinting is hard to control and serves no real function beyond exposing yourself to fire. Okay, that they clearly got from Epic’s Gears of War. They also spent the entire first chapter of the game in black and white, which I’ll also snarkily say was taken from Gears of War! It’s too bad they didn’t take the great high-res textures and models to match.
Loose control plagues the game. It defaults to maximum sensitivity, which seems absolutely horrid at first, since a light press of the stick will swing you 180 instantly. Then you aim at an enemy, and the turn speed is somewhere around point oh five are-pee-em, at full tilt. I don’t expect the exact same aimed speed by any means, but jesus christ, these are polar opposites. The fact there’s no reticule at all, unless in aim mode, just adds to the frustration, since you’ll never be close to your target upon the depression of the left trigger. And somehow, you’ll still never get a good shot. The main character, Hayden, gets more accurate throughout the course of the game, but nobody will care about getting that far.
The game’s signature weapon, the glaive, is stunningly underpowered and generally not useful. It’s slow to use, not that strong unless timed perfectly, and while using it, you’re stuck with a pistol, which is relatively weak no matter how often it’s upgraded. Plenty of early sections in the game leave players against a horde of enemies with AI smart enough to have ideas like “run toward the player” and “punch the player.” Not much more, but oh, there’s plenty of that. At points they respawn from nowhere. Sometimes they emerge from six inch deep pools of water, sometimes they simply appear in front of you. The mechanic is incredibly weak and completely unfun. How a big spinning triple edged blade winds up shitty to use is beyond me, but hey, there it is. Even with the aftertouch, lifted poorly out of Heavenly Sword, it’s hard to use well, and awkward. Using the aftertouch is often worse because the game is so intent on you firing the pistol right after tossing the glaive.
It should be noted, at least, that the game’s shotguns are pretty damn nice, and all you’re going to use besides the glaive anyway. They’re the only thing capable of hitting what you aim at, gunwise, and thank god something can.
But the rest, well, it’s a mess. The game’s animation is choppy and unconvincing, and lots of death animations are repeated. When they’re not, the ragdolls are simply awful, springing around like every joint is held by rubber bands. The audio is sloppy at best, though at least the vocals are clear. The damage indicators are undersized and easily unnoticed until it’s too late, and the game’s sense of scale simply feels wrong. Enemies are small looking, generic, and blend in too well, especially for guys in hazmat suits early on.
Simply put, Dark Sector is as unpolished as this article. Feature creep is obvious, and it took away from any real testing or balancing. When the close-range melee attacks from a player simply swing on by the enemy more often than not when you’re close enough to kiss, it’s obvious there’s a problem. There’s just a distinct lack of enjoyment to the game, and some major bad decisions. In the end, you’ve already played this game, but in 10 distinct pieces that were much better on their own.
It never does anything overtly bad, excepting for the animation and some presentation decisions. And the controls. Okay, it does a few things badly, but most of the game is a thoroughly average theft of ideas that were done better in a more specialized focus. And the novelty of the glaive wears out rapidly in the frustration of cheap kills and a lack of any creativity. I’m not one to knock a game for not being terribly innovative if it’s incredibly well done(Unreal Tournament 2004, Half-life, Bioshock even was an incredibly well done FPS without being terribly revolutionary), but this just isn’t. There’s no polish, it’s bland, it’s uninspired, and it will have you frustrated before it even truly starts.
Dark Sector gets 2 out of 5 stars. It’s not all the way to “bad”, but it’s rarely a title that makes it to “average” and never “good” or “holy shit awesome.” It definitely doesn’t live up to the potential, or even the hype, which is a real shame. Digital Extremes needs to step it up next time, otherwise, they may not stay around much longer.
Viking:Battle for Asgard isn’t the best of games. It’s not the worst either, but it could be a lot better.
Today, I begin an experiment in game enhancement. Sure, we’ve all put on sunglasses when we’re playing a flight sim, just to feel extra cool. Or a wristband, both functional and cool for Guitar Hero. Some enthusiasts will even don headgear(functional or otherwise) for Battlefield and the like.
Today, I’m going to get the full viking experience. I’ve got three bags of beef jerky, a full jug of mead, and lots of Guinesss Draught. I lack a pewter mug, but I do have a Klingon Blood Lager pilsner, and god damn it, that will have to do.
Check in tomorrow to see how the game, and my liver, hold up under these new circumstances!
My index finger is tired and shaky now. It won’t forgive me tomorrow, of this I’m certain, but it’ll tough it out. Tomorrow, it’s going to squeeze the b button on the wiimote at least 500 more times, because there’s zombies that need to be shot in the head.
House of the Dead 2 & 3 Return is a wonderful dream for my inner rage and loathing of the undead, and a curse for my hands.
An MMORPG I like? This can’t be. But it is. It’s actually happened again, thanks to being so different from the rest of the games out there. But it has. Pirates of the Burning Seas takes some cues from quite a few MMOs, and makes something unique and interesting with them, even if it’s not without a few flaws. Rotating, updated flaws, by nature of the genre, but still, it’s pretty solid, and oddly comparable to Sid Meier’s Pirates! smashed together with Eve Online.
