My index finger is tired and shaky now. It won’t forgive me tomorrow, of this I’m certain, but it’ll tough it out. Tomorrow, it’s going to squeeze the b button on the wiimote at least 500 more times, because there’s zombies that need to be shot in the head.
House of the Dead 2 & 3 Return is a wonderful dream for my inner rage and loathing of the undead, and a curse for my hands.
Of all its franchises and all it’s done, Sega knows that you just don’t fuck with zombie shooting. Shoot ‘em in the head, aim outside the screen to reload, blast weak points on bosses. It’s a very simple formula, sometimes you throw in a branching path or minor changes, like zombie placement, but you don’t fuck with it otherwise. This new version not only doesn’t fuck with it, but it plays truer to the arcade games in the arcade modes, and the original/extreme modes actually enhance the game.
There are two games to review here, though both are essentially the same thing, aside from extra modes. And frankly, if you don’t know about House of the Dead by now outside of Uwe Boll’s shitty movie, this might not be the right website for you. You might not even need a television. Hell, the person who demanded I review HotD2/3 most? My aunt. If ravenous zombie blasting has taken over the baby boomers, anyone reading this damn well better be familiar.
House of the Dead is all about fast reflexes and good aim, in varying degrees. Usually if you need to shoot fast, you can shoot loose, conversely if you’ve got the time to aim the shot, you’re going to need it. Naturally that just goes right out the window with boss fights, where you have to be fast and accurate.
And that’s the game. Shoot zombies. HotD2 has its extras like original mode, which is easier overall due to the items collected in game, which range from damage increases to infinite credits(which makes it VERY easy to win). HotD3 is more vanilla, and more challenging in both its normal mode and the bonus extreme mode.
In extreme mode, the shotgun’s blast radius is tightened dramatically, making it more like the HotD2 pistols. To make up for it, the gun reloads much faster(though there’s still a slight delay) and players get a melee attack which can be used to deflect incoming attacks or cause massive damage to several enemies at once, but they’ll need to reload immediately after.
And that’s really all there is to say. Both games have branching paths, lots of zombies to shoot, and some serious challenges. I’m not going to insult your intelligence by saying it’s a big complicated to-do or overexplaining it. Shoot zombies in the head. And frankly, it’s 30 dollars for two great games which most of us have spent at least that much on per cabinet at the arcade. They play to perfectly well to the originals, and it’s 15 dollars for a lot of fun. Sure it gets repetitive, but what doesn’t?
House of the Dead 2 and 3 Return gets 4 out of 5 stars. It’s fun, just a lot of god damn fun with some good extras, and if destroying the undead and turning them into little chunks doesn’t do it for you, well then you have no sense of what fun is.
